Why do people go to college? To get a boring job, one fine day, that pays you like hell!! But to get to this job, we need to go through interviews. Some questions at the interviews are really weird and we normally have a different answer in our mind, though we try to say the most politically correct one..Read along to find out what goes on in the interviewee’s mind...Find out...
The Actual Answers....
|The Question....||Mann me to yehi aata hai...|
| General Questions
|Why did you leave your last job?||I never left it...mujhe dhakka maarke bahar fek diya gaya tha!|
|Tell me about yourself.||They ask such questions too???Mujhe to laga aise questions sirf tabhi puche jaate hain, jab ladki dekhne aate hain!!!!|
|What do you know about this Company?||There is a vacancy and the receptionist is hot!!!|
|Are you applying for other jobs?|| Right now, no..Im talking to you..Do you see me on monster.com right now?
But, before the interview and after this, yes.
|Explain how you would be considered as an asset for this Company.||I depreciate over time. I guess I rightly fit into the definition of an asset!|
|How long would you be expected to work for us if hired?||Till 6 pm only. I have a life!|
|Give me two good reasons to hire you.|| 1. I need a job.
2. You need an employee.
|Are you a team player?||I normally play chess..so...|
|What is your salary expectation?||I hope to get atleast more than the pocket money Mummy gives me.|
|How do you propose to compensate for your lack of experience?||The same way you compensated for your lack of intelligence|
|Do you have any questions?|| I have 3 questions:
1. Am I selected?
2. How much are you paying me?
3. Can I leave?
|What is Turkey Red Oil?||Red coloured oil found inside a turkey????or..Turkey is a country right????/|
|What are the major characteristics of a metal which is its distinguishing factor?||You mean Heavy metal????? I can’t answer that...I listen only to Bollywood item numbers!!!|
|What is solid angle?||It is something other than liquid angle and gaseous angle!!!!|
|What is the 3rd law of thermodynamics?||There are 3 laws???????Oh God!! I thought there were only two!!!!|
|What are the important properties of solvent used in LEACHING?||Bleaching to suna hai, yeh leaching kya hai be!!???|
|What causes transformer humming?||When transformer like a song but does not know the lyrics, it starts humming!!!|
|What do you do if your DG Set is not taking load?||Baaju wala kab kaam aayega...|
|What are the key functions of Power House?||Help people lose weight!!duh!! Oh..By the way, you are talking about that new gym down the street right???????|
|What are capacitator banks?||Union bank, ICICI Bank, river bank to suna tha, ye capacitator bank kya hai?|
|What is the frequency of DC voltage?||Good frequency..baar baar aata rehta hai..|
|What is the minimum distance allowed between a building and a parking lot area?||1 gaadi jaane tak ki jagah to honi hi chahiye, warna kya matlab!!??hai na??|
|Do you know about building orientation?||I knew this Company has orientation sessions for its new joinees. They may tell us about this building in that orientation...hence, building..orientation...get the point?? Can I answer this after the orientation then?|
|Which is the best book for building contruction?||Book thodi padhna padhta hai building construct karne ke liye!!!(smart, I know!!!)|
|Are you comfortable with formal design concepts in the home furnishings area?||Ill check and let you know if I am comfortable!!|
|Are you good at detailing?||Yes, I do give a lot of details. What details are you looking for actually?|
|What is coping?||Oh..its how you manage bad times like a break up...eg..I am coping with my loneliness well!!|
|What is soft soil?||Soil..that is ..SOFT!!duh!!!|
|What is difference between Impeller and Propeller?||‘Im’ & ‘Pro’!!!!baaki spelling to same hi hai!!|
|What is PGM FI technology used in Honda ‘Stunner’ bike?||How am I to know? Mere paas to ‘Scooty Pep +’ hai!!!|
|What is meant by Knocking? When does it occur?||Knocking means ‘tak tak karna’!! It just occurred 10 minutes back, before I said, ‘May I come in, sir?’...Suna nahi kya? Wapas karu?|
|Do you know who is Pascal?||Rascal ka bhai!!|
- Contributed by Aishwarya Sitharam