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  • How to Become Popular

    (Image by Armando G Alonso,

    What makes people popular? Is it the car? Is it the bank account? Looks? Or skill?
    Fortunately, there is no great mystery to being popular. There is lot of research done in this space during the past years that analyses the comparison of popular and unpopular people. There is a reassuring consistency in the results: all kinds of people are popular but they have a large number of traits in common. Any of us can learn what those traits are, adopt them, and add a couple of plus points to our popularity quotient.

    Well while all the concepts may aid your endeavors in becoming popular with all the people there’s no substitute for character. Below are few personal development concepts that virtually anyone can master with enough due diligence. There may be few things that may be present with you, all you need to recognise and hone the talent or the quality in you.

    The Fundamental Rule:

    Be Yourself: We think by staying close to the popular people or by being like them we will be as popular as them. let’s agree to this point if you try to imbibe the best of the few people that still doesn't make you what you are, anything works when you are comfortable with you. Don’t try to be someone else, or at the very least—do not appear desperate to be someone you’re simply not. Find a group like you that share’s a common interest; then, it’ll prove far easier to sharpen your social savvy and build rapport amongst liked-minded people.

    Become Good at Something:

    We humans are programmed in such a way that we are accustomed to admire people who are really good at something. Think about it that we have our favourite actors, players, singers and leaders. In our friend circle we have people who can play musical instruments. Undoubtedly, there is a connection between skill and popularity. It seems like the skill can be almost anything. What do you enjoy doing? Have you ever done something that people have told you are good at? It’s time to improve that skill. Perhaps, you can even earn your living on performing what you are good at. In the book Outliers, author Malcom Gladwell suggested that there is no such thing as “being born with a skill”. To become really good at something, you need to practice for thousands of hours. Once you have identified something you like doing and think you can be good at, spend hours getting better at it. Needless to say, all the people that we admire they are really good at.

    (Image by Garry Knight,

    Quality over Quantity:

    Popularity, in a sense, isn’t about numbers, there may be lot of people who will know you but in reality you will always bank upon few friends who can come anytime to help you. All people who cheer you when you perform and who follow you will vanish in thin air. Most friends, in the long term, are merely acquaintances: Some are here one day and disappear quicker than they were found. Others will exchange pleasantries and make small talk, generally disregard such people. Connect with people of good character, that have the ability to be faithful and loyal, folks that would go out of their way any day to help you. Those are the ones to become tight with.

    Leave your comfort zone:

    Step out of your comfort zone, this is especially critical for shy, even totally introverted people. Practice stepping out of your personal norms: engage others, highlight their interests frequently and make them feel important, tell a good joke, inspire others to join you and commit something totally random and outrageous (considering the legality of whatever it is probably important too…but I digress) and so forth. Influence those around you to feel naturally connected to you, so as long as they WANT to connect. However, stay clear of manipulating peoples—those who’d use exclusively for their own interests.

    (Image by Michael Summers,

    Be Friendly, Display Empathy, and Wear Confidence

    Some people have the notion (i.e. middle and high schoolers) that you’ve got to be the football quarterback, date a cheerleader. Boast a cocky attitude to be popular. In one’s formative years, as disappointing as it is, maybe that’s true. In the long term, however, nothing could be farther from the truth. In the ‘real’ world, socialites treat all others as they’d want to be treated. They’re confident and walk with an undeniable swagger, but they also show genuine interest and benevolence towards anyone who crosses their path. The socialite acts more interested in those around him more than he appears to others to merely is trying to call attention upon him. Establishing some kind of rapport with individuals is paramount. Connect to each person on a personal level while simultaneously garnering a loyal following.

    Conformity is Highly Overrated:

    Though being popular sometimes entails thinking, speaking, and acting in accord with your clique, don’t attempt conformity with everyone, all the time. It will not work. Learn when to ride with the tide and when to fight it—as people are always looking for leaders, per say, to look up to and follow. And those in the single-file line, unwavering, will never achieve the qualities of a leader (basically synonymous with ‘popular’).

    (Image by Texas State Library,

    Be Charitable towards Others

    But Be Careful, There’s an extremely fine line between giving others a helping hand and becoming others’ virtual slaves. Yes, there’s plenty a dick out there ready at a moment’s notice to take your generosity for a ride. Make certain that everything you do for others is, in some fashion or the other, usually reciprocated. Don’t let certain people manipulate your emotions by making you feel popular, when in reality, they’d vanish into thin air should the ‘favors’ stop. Weed out and avoid—using that God-given brain and common sense of yours—these ‘faux friends’ and acquaintances.

    (Image by Texas State Library,

    Shut Up and listen:

    Contrary to what logic may dictate, listening to other peoples’ ideas, issues, problems, and musings on life, feelings, and so forth is critical if winning over the hearts of many is your pursuit. People love talking about themselves and what goes on in their minds. Listen. Try, try, try to resonate with them and try your best to keep the most of the attention of yourself (which may sound a little counter-intuitive given the topic at hand, but nonetheless) and on the other person. In the long run, it will pay off almost without fail.

    Show Pessimism the Door:

    Become an Optimist Pessimism, tiny as it usually starts, is that dark little cloud over peoples’ heads that gradually manifests itself into something much more menacing—turning otherwise normal people into bitchy, arrogant, self-interested, miserable creatures. Avoid pessimism at ALL costs. As previously indicated, in every single difficulty there lies opportunity. Awe those around you with your God-like (ok, maybe that’s going a bit far) powers to create good from evil

    Dress the Part Be fashionable while maintaining your own individuality. Rarely is it acceptable to dress like a slob, but don’t throw on your most expensive clothes (unless that’s just your thing, of course) thinking that will ‘buy’ you friends and acquaintances. Make an effort to blend with the people most associated with, but always keep something about your appearance totally unique.

    Hold Your Head Just High Enough Being popular is being charismatic, charming, confident and abnormally likeable all-in-one and wrapped in a pretty bow. It’s sporting confidence in one’s strut and wearing the best, most authentic smile in the room. It’s making and maintaining direct eye contact with those who matter, and it’s taking undesirable circumstances and turning them into opportunities. Learn to exude confidence and charisma/charm while remaining humble, empathetic, and genuine. It’s an art that sometimes requires decades to perfect, though when you finally learn to walk this ever-so-narrow tightrope, it becomes like second nature. ,

    Try not to hang out with the wrong crowd, make sure your friends are honest and caring, then popularity will follow. Never hang around with the emotional people, the unlucky ones and failure, your chances of success also depends upon the people you stay with. Since your emotional statue will be like that.

    You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.

    If people talk to you first, that means that you are succeeding in your popularity.

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